GOING TO EXTREMES
Are you saying you want something, yet doing nothing toward that aim?
Losing weight, changing jobs, finding a loving partner, creating boundaries in your life so you no longer feel like a doormat…what is it for you?
Thinking in extremes may be to blame.
When a client reports being stuck and says, “I have no idea why,” the first thing I do is empty their brain.
In person we use a white board, on the phone I have them imagine we have a big white board in front of us. Then I provide a stem sentence…let’s look at some examples for someone who is stuck losing weight.
- “Losing weight is…”
- “Losing weight means that I…”
- “If I lose weight, then…”
- “When I think about losing weight I feel…”
We take one question at a time and I ask them to finish the sentence as many times as possible until the brain feels empty on the subject.
Let’s take a few of these questions and see what might come out in the exercise:
Losing weight is:
- Something I have to do
Losing weight means that I:
- Will have to give up bread, pasta, ice cream and all the things I love (forever)
- Will have to buy all new clothes (and I don’t have the money for that)
- Can never eat out again
Well NO WONDER you’re not losing weight! Who would want to go through that? There is a part of you that wants to avoid these things at all cost. It actually thinks it is protecting you by keeping you stuck.
We then go through each line ask, “Is it true?”
That’s when the client realizes that they’ve been going to extremes. None of these things have to be true. There is a whole spectrum of experiences between easy and hard, for instance. Losing weight could be fun, challenging, a learning experience, self-honoring, empowering, and on and on…
The mind-shift creates movement. When you change your mind, you change your experience, you change your motivation, and suddenly you become powerful!
Try it for yourself. Empty your brain then find the spectrum of possibilities that you didn't even know existed!
As always, I'm here if you're ready to partner with a professional to get unstuck and stay unstuck.